This week I’d like to discuss enablers. You know who I’m talking about. Those friends and family members who exhibit the following behaviors. Let me set the scene. You are out at a trendy restaurant all dressed up. You have had a great meal of salad maybe some grilled fish. Also, you have just communicated to your friend all about your five workouts and successful eating plan for the past week and the waiter plops down the dessert menu. Your friend looks at you and asks if you want to share a brownie sundae. My normal response a few weeks ago would have been of course :) But lately my response has been that if I am going to have anything it is going to be some plain fruit.

I have learned some valuable lessons the last few weeks. Your loved ones and friends aren't going to change and you shouldn't expect them to. Your transformation is about you not them. They didn't make you fat or put the food in your mouth all those times you overate and ate the wrong things. They also don't mean to harm you when they offer fattening desserts or food. That is how they show their love at times. So it will be you that has to change. What I mean when I say that is you will need to change how you respond in certain situations. Instead of getting angry just explain that you are trying to make positive changes with your health and leave it at that. The funny thing is that your good habits might start rubbing off on them. If they don't that is perfectly fine as well as long as you do the right thing for you.

I think it is very healthy to love others don't get me wrong but sometimes it is healthier for you to not be so engaged in their behavior. Women especially are guilty of this. The constant advice giving and worrying about others. It is our nature to care too much at times. I know I have been guilty of this. I tend to focus on other's problems so I don't have to focus on my own. That is one of the reasons I gained so much weight. Then I gained more when I got angry and frustrated that my friends and family wouldn't take my advice and didn't even seem to appreciate all those suggestions I constantly gave.

I have tried to just "let go"! I still love everyone just as much as I always have but I am getting less involved in their drama. I think my relationships are improving because of this lesson. I know my relationship with myself has improved and isn't that the most important relationship of them all? Fin
-zoftig princess